12.8.12

Coffee Cup #18: Design Your Life

This post titled in a very very universal state. But i'm not going to talk about my career, or my plan continuing my study to higher degree. Really, it's all about the most important thing in the world: A Family.
"Harta yang paling berharga, adalah keluarga.  Istana yang paling indah, adalah keluarga. Puisi yang paling bermakna, adalah keluarga. Mutiara tiada tara adalah keluarga." -Keluarga Cemara-
 In the end, Charlie Bucket won a chocolate factory. But Willy Wonka had something even better, a family. And one thing was absolutely certain - life had never been sweeter. -Roald Dahl-
 A part of designing my life is dreaming an ideal future family. It starts with choosing the right one as a partner. I'm not in a state of 'labil' or 'galau' condition, truly. I've already moved on from that stage. Exactly I gathered this thought from several conversation with friends which are currently in that kind of conditions. I'm  not starting my findings in a rush way, too. But reaching 22, getting my bachelor degree, and experiencing the  office makes me think about life over and over and over and over.

Have you read "The Glass Castle" pals? I suggested the book to my friends, because it gives a good example on how a family starts with choosing the right person. Red, the husband, the father, is the one who responsible on the harsh family life in the story. He's a charismatic man, which made her wife crazy in love. But unfortunately he has not any good quality for a husband, has several bad habits like drinking, only serve the family with empty hopes, giving strict rules and orders, hot-headed, and most of it: runaway from the responsibility. Someone said that "you can't really change a man, so choose carefully while you can."

The MOM, in this story, is also responsible because she is weak, can not say 'no' to the husband, self-pity, and again... weak. How can you lead and educate the whole family while you're weak? While reading this book I found a fact when parents can be loving and evil at once as you mix step-parents and biological parents as one.

After reading the book, I came to this:
 "Impure women are for impure men, and impure men for impure women. Good women are for good men, and good men are for good women; such are innocent of that which they say: For them is forgiveness and a bountiful provision." QS. An-Nur (24):26
 So, while thinking about choosing the right one, I think I should prepare my self to meets my own criteria of a partner. Hahaha, I think everybody knows that ordinary state. Here the more interesting part: my own criteria.
  1. Simply imagine, I want to arouse a good habit in my family: liven up maghrib prayer together with the whole family... everyday. Which means all the family members should be at home before sunset. Which also sets me apart from working too hard that leading to the lack of communication. While other family talk all the things that matters during dinner, I prefer to talk after shalat. I found it works in many wonderful family that I know.
  2. Comfortable to talk, and good communication. It's a glorious relationship when you can talk about everything, never avoid difficult conversations, and be honest to each other. Everybody wants that.
  3. Then, an ordinary one: tighten in one vision and mission. It doesn't need any explanation, does it?
Well, that's the main idea of my future family. Someone inspire me, and I just wanna say something to this particular friend of mine.

Girl, you deserve the best! Don't waste your time with that lad... Maybe I don't really understand how it feel when love becomes so irrational. But I know that you have your own dream of your future family, and --as you said-- he has no prospect in there. Your intention is pure, but light and guidance are His authority. I still advice you to let it go now. His plan sometimes unimaginable. While we try to understand it, we know that His plan is the best for us. Moreover, that's the sweetest way He made to make us closer to Him.

You know, Girl, by saying this I start to tremble..


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